i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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