You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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