If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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