I think I am morally bankrupt
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
