I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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