we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
