On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
