So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
