we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
well you can't waste a boner
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I have fence marks all over my body
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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