her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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