you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
