we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
