I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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