ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
