he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
