it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Randomize
