remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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