Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Randomize