I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
