Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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