you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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