Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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