i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize