u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
