dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
