you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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