I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
