I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
