But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
