I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
