the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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