my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize