I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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