He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
