Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
