I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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