dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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