The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
