As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
