ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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