There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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