This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
