In the future we'll all be gay
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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