This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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