So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
