omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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