If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it's not cheating when I paid for it
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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