Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
