btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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