i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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