Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
