Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
