...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
MIDGETS
????
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
