i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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