Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
