mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
