I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
