I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
