I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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